Love Still Remains

Love Still Remains

After being married for fifteen years the question I often ask myself is this: “Am I doing this to impress my mate or am I doing it out of the love I have for her?” You see, I question my motives for everything I do concerning my spouse because I want them to be pure and unconditional, not based on what she can do for me or what she can give me.

You see, I have been raised to be a giving, caring person to those who can’t give back, or those who are weaker, not that she is either, but based on this set of values I give to people willingly and how much more so to someone I love and hold in such high regard. It is easy for me to give to someone I love and as the years go by, my love grows deeper. It seems most people base love on a person’s looks or how a person they purport to love treats them but to look at love from this viewpoint does not seem genuine. If I am saying I love this person or that person and someone asks me why I love that person and I respond with an answer like, “because they treat me good” or “ they are a knockout'” than I am basing my love on a condition which makes my love suspect.

True love is unconditional, like a parent’s love for their child. Do I love my child because him or her is good looking or smart? Heaven forbid, I should hope not. No, I love my child simply because he/she is mine, even if that child has a mental defect, a physical defect or if he/she hates me, I still love my child, without condition.

This is how we should approach a relationship between a man and a woman, especially one that we choose to become our mate. If we would do this, we would be much more careful in the choices we made in our selection of spouses, thereby causing a much longer relationship status quo.

But many of us don’t do this; instead we base our choices on a feeling, which we all know can change from one day to the next. This is the wrong way to go about establishing any kind of relationship, especially one which is going to involve a contract and other human beings because once those feelings change, which they will, than so will our desire to be with that person who we once expressed an undying love for. So what happens to the marriage contract? Well, that is the reason for such a high divorce rate in this country. But not only so, in most cases now there are children involved, what happens to those little ones who are depending on Mom and Dad? They are the one’s who must suffer from our poor choices and foolish decisions.

So bear this in mind as I proceed to tell you how I try and look at my spouse each and every day of my life. We have been married for just shy of fifteen years. I am not going to sit here and make up a fairy tale romance about our relationship because I would be the biggest liar around, thereby destroying any kind of credibility I am trying to establish with you, my dear reader.

I am not perfect, I will be the first to tell you that. And if you wish to meet my wife, I will let you form your own opinions about her based on your observations. As for me though, she is perfect in my eyes, because it is with true unconditional love that I view her each and every day. Let me tell you, we fight, we argue, we criticize each other, just like anyone else does who is with someone every day of their lives.

The only difference may be is the choice I may make toward my significant other each day. You see, the choice I made when I said “I do” before God and man was a choice that was non-negotiable in its terms. I didn’t leave myself an out-clause if the going got to be too hard or if my wife started to look old or I just lost interest in her and the grass began to look greener on the other side. In other words, I do not believe in divorce and I know my idea isn’t a popular one but it doesn't matter, I made the choice for myself, not for anyone else.

I love my wife very much and each day I love her a little bit more, so much so that I find myself thinking about what life would be like without her and it is a concept which I would have a very hard time coming to terms with if I was forced to make such a decision.

In fact, I pray I won’t have to do such a thing for a long time, that is how much this woman has become an integral part of my life.

"I do" I say to myself each day, as I said to her so many years ago.

You see, love is a choice we must choose to make, not a feeling as so many think. So before you make a decision which will change your life forever, make sure you are ready to make that same choice each and every day, especially if you see in the foreseeable future children that will be yours. Don’t bring a life into this world which you will not bear the responsibility for, because they didn’t ask to be brought into this world, we made that choice for them.